You know, besides the mind-blowing pain and moderate feelings of deathwishiness.
Yes, another top-ten list. I apologize, but I couldn’t resist. Also, I’m having a flare! You wouldn’t expect me to actually type an entire blog post with my sausage fingers would you? ; ) Hope you enjoy it! Apologies for the men out there… Hopefully you can still relate. We are, after all, still in the same [life] boat!
1) You aren’t quite sure if that shower was 2 days ago, or 5.
2) When you open the washing machine, you find a mildewed mess resembling clothing, and you have no idea how long its been in there. You promptly close the lid.
3) You can’t form coherent sentences, and have lost the ability to count. *This was added several days after writing, after another parent pointed out that there was no #3!
4) You have been wearing the same sweatpants and Uggs (ok, whom am I kidding.. off brand Uggs) for 3 days, including work, and you don’t care in the least.
5) When its finally time for bed, you find yourself singing joyful tunes like “Hallelujia!” or, even make up your own, for example, my go-to flare song is: “Won’t you take me to, COMFY town? won’t you take me to, COMFY tooown!” (You know, as opposed to “Funky.”)
6) 1 hour later, you’re still awake, and you have no inclinations toward singing, whatsoever.
7) Your first thought upon waking is simple “NO!!. Now that I think about it, that meeting with the company president at 9 isn’t that important. Screw it. SNORE”
8) Your children are surviving on Spaghettios, ramen, and (if its a good[er]) day, macaroni-and-cheese. (As if anyone actually had the energy to BOIL. Please.); Your spouse is scouring the kitchen like a ravenous dog.
9) You find yourself realistically considering if its really necessary to brush your teeth. or eat. or actually move for that matter.
10) Your dream evening involves 9 things: a heating pad, a Snuggie, a 200mg Celebrex, and 6 pillows.
One week ago I was wearing heels and make-up to work, sewing, playing piano, keeping my home clean, occasionally forgetting to take my medication, and feeling pretty darn good. Now I am pretty sure I got hit by a truck while I was sleeping, and they forgot to leave a note.
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