My husband is a technogeek. He only interacts with silicon and wires, and prefers to shield himself from the rays of human eye contact. He can make or fix anything, he is truly the MacGyver of the future. Tonight, when I walked in the door, I noticed he bought himself some awesome new sneakers, online of course:
After a barrage of intense force, groans, and curses, I finally bent the box to my will; stuffed the stupid shirt inside, and breathed a sigh of relief. I tried to take a picture of it from a side which laid flat, but found that none of them did. Not bottom, top, or any of the sides. I think there are too many sides. Yes, I had the foresight to take pictures during the process. The knowledge of hilarious failure is strong with this one.
I began to panic as I noticed the almost empty roll of packing tape lay on the counter… my original shipping weight was 13 ounces. After some overly complicated weighing procedures with my bathroom scale and smartphone (cause I ain’t smart), I determined that it was probably about 11 ounces. PHEW! I shoved the damn thing in the mail box and poured myself a glass of flat ginger ale, with a ‘moderate’ (most of the glass) splash of blackberry wine. I needed relief. I needed to write this down. Looking forward to my drink and writing with joyful mania, I headed to the garage where my husband is working on a computer-tinkering project, because that’s where our fastest and biggest computer lives. I began composing this post in my mind before I put the glass down on the desk, another example of beginning a task before finishing the first one. So now the question for my husband is this: do microprocessors still work after being drowned in ginger ale and blackberry wine? Because I smothered your microprocessors with ginger ale and blackberry wine.
My 32nd birthday is in 27 minutes, and I feel like a hopelessly useless human being, who happens to be in a lot of pain (my toe really freaking hurts). May tomorrow be better than the last 73 minutes of my life! At least 32 is an even number; it will be easier on my brain. That hurts too.
To whomever is getting my shirt, I pledge my full and complete apologies. Oh, and please don’t give me bad feedback.
*I noticed I have some new followers now that I don’t even KNOW!! YAY! Welcome to my crazy life. Btw, if anyone wants to follow, its easy. Just type your email in the upper right hand corner where it says ‘follow by email’. It goes through feedburner- you won’t get any junk, promise. Also, please leave comments below and don’t send me emails. I like to keep em all in one place. Thanks!