Today, we are having a hard spring rain. The air is thick with the scent of spring.. earth, moisture, flowers.. a beautiful smell! The atmosphere is also thick, with a pressure system that is absolute torture for those of us with chronic pain, fibromyalgia and autoimmune disease.
I describe the feeling this way: It is like having little bits of dark matter, covered with needles, weighing down on every joint in my body. The feeling of being weighed down is constant, but I can live with it. Moving is the real problem. I can’t move my fingers, wrists, feet, hips, knees, neck… (ect.) without feeling sharp pain and stiffness. So, that sure makes things “difficult.” This morning, I couldn’t even squeeze my toothpaste tube; I had to smash it with my palm on the counter. Luckilly, I have an electric toothbrush (GET ONE! It saves a surprising amount of energy).
|Beautiful and Strong little Birdie!
Thank you HD Wallpaper Mania
Things in my life have been nothing short of madness- March Madness perhaps? sorry, couldn’t help myself! I’m publishing the childrens books “Why Does Mommy Hurt?,” which is the single most difficult and challenging thing that I have EVER done, in my entire life. I believe the extreme challenge exists because in addition to the book, I have (obviously) chronic pain, a 3.5 year old, and a real job! Anyway, my first thought this morning was along the lines of “NOOOO! Not Rain! I can’t handle this!” Then, I realized that I had an amazing opportunity.
I decided to spend the whole day on the couch relaxing, no housework allowed! I was going to play the adult version of “hot lava” – can’t touch the floor! It has been a much needed respite from my achieving, perfectionistic brain- a brain which tells me that nothing is ever good enough. That I CAN do one more load of laundry. That I CAN take on one more project. That I CAN walk a mile to the playground; all while my body is screaming “please, please, let me rest!” So, today, I am! My son and I are listening to mozart and building puzzles, its a good day 🙂
I have accepted that I will be in pain when it rains; when it snows, when its cloudy, and even when its GOING to be cloudy. Now I see clearly that I have been seeing these days as inconvenient and depressing, when they really are an opportunity to relax, reflect, and let go! (Well, at least on the days I don’t have to go to work!)
I don’t remember the last time that I’ve let myself lay on the couch for hours, surrounded my my messy home, and my messy life, without trying to “fix” something. It’s absolutely wonderful.
|My rain ninja!|
My son and I gave up and went outside around 8pm. We put our boots and raincoats on (left the umbrellas inside, however kiddo insisted on bringing his pretend ninja sword). We stomped in the puddles, ran around, and had a blast! Jimmy fought the rain, he fought the trees, he fought all of the pretend enemies he could! We walked around for a 1/2 hour, getting soaked, but loving every minute!
Here is kiddo, fighting the rain! I like to think he’s fighting for mommy 🙂